Happy Service Saturday! This post is dedicated to one of my good sister friends. This friend is like a mentor to me in many ways. She looks out for me all the time, holds me up when I’m down and puts me on to all her good fortune. She is so socially rich, loved by many and life favorability follows her wherever she goes. ?
This dear friend of mine also has a big problem. A problem that many of us moms have:
We DO TOO MUCH.
Recently, this problem has jeopardized my friend’s physical health. She now has strict doctor’s orders to stay at home, rest with her legs up and is on medication. For her, this was one of the hardest pieces of advice, because she like us, is addicted to ‘doing.’ She’s constantly planning fun adventures with her family, cooking for her co-workers and going to everyone’s potluck.
Now doesn’t that sound familiar? Don’t we allow our minds to take control and give orders to our physical self, pushing ourselves beyond normal limits? Instead of choosing to stay home because we are exhausted, we opt to go out to all the birthday parties instead, right? Or how about over-committing in general? Not being able to say no? When someone asks for our energy and we feel the stress creep in; instead of saying no, we reluctantly say “Sure. No problem.” With all this behavior, is it any wonder we find ourselves occasionally crying on the bathroom floor due to a mommy meltdown (or is that just me ?)?
Today let me deliver a real strong message ☝️…and I say this with love:
GIRL, SIT DOWN !
Your health, happiness and livelihood depend on it. Let’s not allow the societal or family pressures to push us to over sacrifice our bodies. Now, there are things that we must do, like clothe and feed our children. And then there are things we CAN do, meaning they are optional, like birthday parties, chores and more.
When I heard my girlfriend explaining her physical health condition, I got upset. I realized I would have to use my voice, power and influence in her life to encourage her to choose life. Choose. Life. And if you have ever had a terrible sickness, you know what I’m talking about. It’s that moment when you start to fear the worst, reflect over your life and realize all the little things that you worry about…Don’t. Really. Matter. The clothes, house, cars, careers, bills, opinions of others ?….choose life! You are in this world, not of it. ?
But it’s so easy to get confused. As I write this post, I’m preaching to myself. “Make decisions that promote life Cindy.” If we are tired, we should go sit down somewhere. Not sign up for a 3-hour museum tour with our kids and someone else’s. As moms, it’s so easy to take care of everyone else but ourselves. First of all, we’re good at it. Nobody can take care of a sick baby like mama (sorry dads…there are exceptions for sure). But secondly, people expect us to do everything. We build the expectation in others that we will do everything and are okay with it.
For the sake of your best life, please do the following:.
1. Listen to Your Body: If you body is hurting, sick or has a chronic anything, it’s time to reevaluate your ways of life. Our bodies aren’t just machines that will take bad orders from our brain without some type of revolt. If something is presenting itself in our bodies, we should reconsider lifestyle, diet and seek medical attention to further investigate what’s going on. And the medical attention should happen swiftly. Please don’t make sure the entire family has gotten to the doctor, dentist and specialist but you haven’t (telling myself this in my mind).
2. Study Your Feelings: How are you feeling? Everyday? For the past 4 weeks? What about the past 3 months? Do you take inventory of your feelings? Are you waking up angry more days than happy? Why? This is one of my favorite reasons to journal: we can capture our mental and emotional patterns and then execute a plan of action to improve them. I’m pro-therapy! ✊
3. Get Ahead of Yourself: After a good reflection on habitual feelings/conditions and committing to improving, mark down on your calendar when you need to rest. If it’s a babysitter every Saturday night, a off day from work once a month, a girls outing every 2 weeks….whatever it is, planning is helpful to avoid meltdowns. Even if you don’t feel like you need the time off when it arrives, take it. We need to put credit in our emotional/social/mental banks before we withdraw too much. We don’t like bankruptcy! ?
4. Girl, Sit Down!: This is just the decision to make changes for a healthier you and thus your family. Most often it’s the moms who are the heart of the family. We make sure everyone’s feelings are taken care of, the house is in order, partner is happy and kids are doing well. So if we go down, most likely, there will be a domino effect on everyone. Let’s work smarter, not harder. Just say YES to staying home on a Saturday, not going to the park or whatever else pops up as social pressure to do. Get your groceries delivered for once. Drop your clothes off at the laundromat for washing (applicable more to a NYC lifestyle ?). Just sit down.
Good luck mamas. We gotta get this one right. Let’s choose life.
Thoughts? Comments? Drop them on the blog! Thanks for your support.